I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
