She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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