After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize