bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
