Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
