my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
