I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
