Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
only if we run a train.
done.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
