well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
