I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think my tv is drunk
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
