Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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