it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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