I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
