I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
