It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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