Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
