The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
