i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Bring me that man meat
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
