The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
