Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Randomize
