I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
