I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
