I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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