Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
