question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
