No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
