He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
