ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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