yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
