do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
