just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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