im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
