end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
