You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
