his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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