so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize