I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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