My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
