omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
