i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
