I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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