Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
