dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Found the puke drawer
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Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize