to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Damn victory sex feels great
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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