one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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