she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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