yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
