Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
