brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we're so committed to being not committed
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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