I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
