your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
