After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
