And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
