Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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