got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
home. puking in laundry basket.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
