Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize