I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
