Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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