its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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