And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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