Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize