I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
