Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
