i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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