There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
