Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize