Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
